Dear family and friends,
The rollercoaster that has been my Abba’s condition has been especially unpleasant of late. When last I wrote things were looking relatively positive. They seemed to have found the right method of slow dialysis and they were getting things under control. The last couple of days, however, have been treacherous and the prognosis is bleak. We may be reaching the end of potential (new) interventions, which means we have no other choice but to let nature take its course with the current regiment of drugs and dialysis when possible. The road ahead is far more difficult and the chances of recovery far more slim.
I arrived yesterday morning as a Mother’s Day surprise and Abba had a pretty good day yesterday. He was only on one blood pressure med and remained stable. They were doing dialysis, but being even more gentle than they had, because the night before I arrived he had a very bad night. Eama and I left the hospital last night (something she didn’t feel comfortable doing the night before) feeling ok about things. At 3am this morning we received a call that Abba had a series of blood pressure related events and was being taken for a cat scan to see if there was a new or worsening issue somewhere. They saw no changed issues in his head or chest but they did see that the abdominal bleed had grown slightly from the scan they did a couple of days earlier; one doctor described it as smaller than a ziplock bag filled with blood, but still concerning for a guy on blood thinners who is having BP issues and blood chemistry issues.
We returned to the hospital within the hour and have been here ever since. He has had a rough day. He has needed several medications to stabilize his blood pressure and there was a concern, as noted above, that the growth in that abdominal bleed could be related. To determine how bad the bleed might be he had another cat scan, but this time with contrast. The result of this latest CT is that the bleed hasn’t grown since this morning and the bleed does not appear to be arterial (both good news). That means we are back to hoping and praying that the treatment he is currently receiving brings him stability sufficient to allow him to begin to recover.
Of course, even if he recovers from this, the road ahead will be arduous. His kidneys are currently in a state of failure and have been for some time. While there is a possibility that after recovering from everything else his kidneys could begin to recover, there is also a possibility that they will not even if the rest of him does. That would leave him needing ongoing dialysis and potentially a kidney transplant. Neither would be good. He also remains extremely weak and so he would require substantial therapy to get him back to a point where he could move on his own. Clearly if he can survive this he can get himself through whatever comes next, but it isn’t fun to think about.
So, here we sit. Watching the machines, studying the faces of the doctors and nurses for some clue of his condition beyond what the tests and scans reveal, and trying to focus on how he remains one of the strongest—in will, spirit, and fortitude—we have ever known. If there is a way to survive this, he will survive this. However, in fairness I wanted you to know there may not be a way even for him.
As for what you can do—here is the list:
- Do not call or stop by. This is very important. At this moment communication is challenging. Trying to communicate with Abba or Eama directly serves as more of an unwanted distraction than something helpful.
- Pray and/or send good vibes and/or think good thoughts of recovery (depending on what suits you). For those looking to pray for him, in case you use the Jewish mode of such prayers, his Hebrew name is יצחק בן אידיס —Yitzchak ben Eydis—Jerry son of Edie.
- In the past hearing notes of concern and care have been appreciated, but I have something a little bit different in mind this time around. I would like you to dig deep into your memories to tell me stories. Specifically I want you to tell me about the most important or impactful or impressive things you experienced with or as a result of Abba. It is nice to hear that he is strong, or smart, or loving or any other number of things you have expressed in past messages (all lovely). For this request I’m looking for specific moments in time. Perhaps it was a letter he wrote or a conversation you had or advice he gave or a protest he led.
While it could be, as we Jews say, באבע מייסע—bubbe myse (Yiddish. Literally, grandmother tale—an old wive’s tale), I once read speculation that your life flashing before your eyes in a moment when you face death because it can help you survive the ordeal; those memories are so strong they bring you strength. Who knows if that’s true (and frankly, I don’t care and don’t want to know that it isn’t), but in case it is I figure, why wait until right before death to find strength in stories; let’s start pulling strength from those stories now.
- Finally, speak to friends and family about what’s been going on with Abba. While we have tried to ensure that everyone who would want to know, knows, we continue to discover we have inadvertently left people out. Please help us by pointing them to the updates website: https://abbaupdates.newphaseinnovations.com. From there they should be able to read all of the past updates and add themselves to the update list so they don’t miss any future updates. If they have any trouble accessing either, please have them contact me directly as I can provide past updates collected into a single PDF and I can ensure they are on the list for future updates.
That’s all from Boston. I’ll do my best to bring you updates as soon as possible. From here things may move at an unpredictable pace—at times fast and at times slow—so please be patient.
Love,
Ariel