Dear family and Friends,
As promised I have some details to share about Abba’s funeral, shiva and memorial.
First, I’ve received several questions about who is immediate family. I should have thought about that before hitting send on that last update. In Eama and Abba’s family “immediate” really refers to everyone who is a familial relation. For example, I didn’t have first cousins, and second cousins and cousins removed, I just had cousins. I also didn’t have great uncles and great aunts, just uncles and aunts. So I suppose where other families might describe immediate as mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, spouses and children, in our family, all family is immediate.
If you are family, in Eama and Abba’s way of defining, and are wondering if you would be welcomed, the answer is emphatically yes. Should you feel any obligation? Emphatically no. Canton is not the easiest place to visit casually and quickly. Milwaukee is much easier and there will be a larger memorial with far more time to prepare. While we haven’t settled on a date, there has been some very preliminary discussion about later this summer. We will be in touch about that as quickly as we can.
For those of you who will be joining us in Canton, funeral services will be held at Savta’s synagogue, (also where Abba, Eama, and Uncle Sheldon grew up) Shaaray Torah Synagogue (432 30th St. NW, Canton, OH 44709) on Thursday May 16th at 1pm with burial to follow. The family will sit shiva at the synagogue from 5:30-7:30PM Thursday (services at 5:30), and at Savta’s residence (The Colonies at Windsor 1454 E. Maple St. North Canton, OH 44720) on Friday from 1-3PM (with a brief service at 3PM).
Eama, Uncle Sheldon, Nadav, and I will return to Boston and sit shiva at the Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Miriam’s home (141 Waban Hill Road North, Chestnut Hill, MA 02467) on Saturday from 8-10pm (services at 8:45pm) and Sunday through Tuesday nights from 7-9PM (services at 7:30PM). All are welcome to visit during shiva. Dietary laws of Kashrut will be observed.
A memorial gathering will be held in Milwaukee at a later date.
Now, many of you have inquired about ways you could help. Abba would have loved that. Giving tzedakah was very important to him but inspiring others to give was something he loved even more. While he would be happy to have known that he had motivated you to give, if you are wondering where his attention has been recently there have been two in Milwaukee. The first is The Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design (MIAD) where a donation into the scholarship fund in Abba’s name would be wonderful. The other would be that the Milwaukee Jewish Federation has a Coalition for Jewish Learning. In recent years he has been especially impressed with their approach to Jewish learning in Milwaukee. At their annual event they not only recognize teachers and administrators, they recognize all who are involved; even the custodial staff at the Jewish day schools are recognized. You can reach these two organizations as follows:
MIAD:
https://payments.miad.edu/donate
Coalition for Jewish Learning:
One last little bit. While there are many things I could share about Jewish practices around death and mourning, I thought I would share two. I won’t say much about either and I will let you google amongst yourself (coffee talk reference?). The first is the phrase Baruch dayan ha’emet—ברוך דיין האמת—Blessed is the arbiter of the truth. This phrase is used to express surprise at concerning news. The second is Hamakom yinachem etchem b’toch sha’ar avalei tzion v’yerushalayim—המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים—May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. This phrase is used to express condolence to a Jewish mourner.
As we all struggle with our new loss, I wish you moments of reflection, recollection, and humor.
Love,
Ariel