Dear family and friends,
Thank you for your interest in our Abba (the name my brother Nadav and I call our father–Hebrew for “father” and not to be confused with the other by that name famous for Bohemian Rhapsody). These messages are our way to keep you up to date about our Abba and to help frame the best practices for staying in touch and eventually visiting (first virtually via video conferences and eventually in person). I know my Eama (what my brother and I call our mother–Hebrew for “mother”) and Abba both feel a great deal of love from the massive number of you who have signed up for these updates. You can imagine how complicated their lives are right now and I am sure you may be wondering how best to be good friends and family to them as they go through this strange time. Here are the ground rules:
- Absolutely no visits until further notice
- Abba is about to undergo a marrow transplant. In order to be successful in that implantation he first needs to obliterate his immune system (so it doesn’t reject his implant). With no immune system we all become a threat; the fewer people with whom he comes in contact the better. With time that will change but for no this is non-negotiable.
- No calls until further notice (or until either Eama or Abba call you, whichever comes first
- Right now Abba is spending a lot of his time moving from one doctor visit or lab visit to another and in between visits he often has to be on the phone coordinating with the next doctor. There simply isn’t room right now for any extraneous calls. Eama, who has always worn many hats, is in the position of managing everything. As a result, her dance card is full. This too will lessen over time and there will come a time when calls (and even video visits) will not only be welcomed but encouraged. I’ll send out an email when we get there with information about how and when. Until then, please do not call (though if they call you, its ok to talk to them *GRIN*).
- Do not send things to them
- Sending items through the mail can be a problem for the same reasons visiting will be a problem or calling will be a problem. For example, Abba has already been instructed to live in a plant free apartment and Eama has been asked to upgrade the filters on the air handling system. It would be best to send me messages and I will collect them and present them to their directed recipient (Abba, Eama, or both). If you are sending something personal that you’d prefer I don’t read, simple write, on the first line of the message, for Jerry’s eyes, Cindy’s eyes, or Jerry and Cindy’s eyes only and I will stop reading and just pass it along.
- Do keep my parents in your thoughts and if you pray, in your prayers
- As my Abba posted on Facebook, his Hebrew name is Yitzchak and his mother’s Hebrew name is Edis (and his father, of blessed memory, was named Yehoshua). The reason he gave his name and parent’s names in Hebrew is because there is a Jewish tradition to pray for the sick, but to be cautious to identify the right person when you pray as not to scare those who hear you (and may think you are talking about some other Yitzchak). Most traditionally it is just the name of the sick person followed by the gender designation, son or, in Hebrew “ben,” followed by the sick person’s mother’s name harkening back to a Jewish tradition that the mother is a carrier of healing life forces. Including the father’s name can be to ensure a more specific prayer (there may be many Yitzchak ben Edis but how many are there that are Yitzchank ben Edis v’Yehoshua (the prefix v’ is Hebrew for “and”)? Additionally including the father’s name is more egalitarian.
- Do send messages to me to pass along
- Though they may not be able to respond right now, they certainly would enjoy well wishes, words of encouragement, and stories from your lives.
- Do pass along the link to allow others to join this mailing list
- In case you miss something, feel free to check the website where the messages will be simultaneously posted
- Stay tuned for more
- As much as I will try to respond to each message I receive from you, things are busy and stretched for me right now too. Please keep checking these messages for additional guidance on each of these rules as they will change as Abba progresses.
With those out of the way, here is a quick update on Abba.
After finishing his third round of pre-transplant chemotherapy in Milwaukee, Abba and Eama took a little road trip east. They packed up the car and headed out of Milwaukee on Saturday, October 20th. For those of you in Milwaukee, you may notice movement in the house. Do not fret! Before leaving, Eama and Abba fully decked out the home security system in the house. The house now has video surveillance, remote lock control, and remote alarm management. There is also remote water leak detection, smoke, fire, and carbon monoxide detection and monitoring, and remote thermostat and garage door monitoring and control. Aside from the tech, they have also hired staff to manage and monitor the house in person. In addition to all of that, Eama’s mother, our Grandma Bea who will be 99 this November, is in assisted living in Milwaukee. Eama visited her there nearly every day but because Eama will be in Boston for much of the next year, there is a line of family members on that side of the family who will be visiting Milwaukee to fill in on that role and while there they will be staying in the house.
After hitting the road, their first stop was in Ohio where Abba got to visit with his mother Edis (or as she goes by, Edie, or as my brother and I call her, Savta—Hebrew for “grandmother”). Savta is 93.5 years old and remains sharp and engaged. She is currently very concerned that voters around the country will not get to the polls to elect democrats during the midterms. She even wrote to MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow to ask that she find a way to directly solicit (through her show) voters in her demographic to vote and vote dem.
Though the cross-country trip was exhausting, it was necessary and uplifting and Abba and Eama were able to visit a few more family members along the way to Boston, finally arriving here on October 23rd. I say here because Nadav and I arrived in Boston on Friday, October 19th, and immediately went to work getting their new apartment ready for their arrival. The new apartment is a penthouse with spectacular eastern, southern, and western views of the Boston skyline and is across the street from Fenway Park. That was going to pose a problem given that the Milwaukee Brewers nearly faced the Boston Red Sox in the World Series, but because the Brewers lost to those scoundrels, the Dodgers, it is easy for Eama and Abba to root for the new-home home-team. (They can even see the third base side of the field from their bedroom.) They arrived in good spirits and ready to begin all that is coming next.
Early Wednesday morning, October 24th, Eama and Abba had their first round of appointments at Dana Farber (where the transplant and everything associated will be administered). A lot of this was education about what is to come but some of it was going over the mountain of paperwork associated with all of these procedures, and Abba submitting to a physical to ensure that he is able to proceed. He returns first thing on Thursday, October 25th, to submit to a marrow aspiration and additional pre-procedure tests. On Friday I’ll be able to join them for some of the educational meetings so I’ll hear first-hand what to expect and what rules must be in place going forward.
That’s it for now. More to come. Thanks for tuning in.
Ariel
PS
Savta would really appreciate it if you checked to make sure your voter registration is up to date and that, if you haven’t already, get out there and vote for the democrats running in your areas. As she put it, she remembers every president since Hoover and this is the first time she was embarrassed by our commander and chief.
Panoramic picture (360 degrees starting from the east on the left) taken from the balcony at the new apartment. Just a few of the breathtaking views.